As I hurtle into 2017 I’ve been thinking about the last few years slogging away on my laptop trying to actually write something worth reading. Here’s a few things I wish I’d known in 2009, when I first put pen to paper to anything other than my checque book.
1, Buy a decent coffee machine, it will become your new best friend.
2, Always save your work to somewhere else other than your drive. Been there, done that, lost the book…
3, Writers, alongside coffee machines are nice people. Be nice back.
4, Don’t believe everything you hear about the humble adverb. It has its place.
5, Show not tell means very little to the new writer – it comes with experience.
6, The writer without a cat is a rare thing and someone to be very wary of 😉
8, Writing is a solitary occupation but hygiene and actually getting dressed are a given.
10, Drooling over notebooks and pens is perfectably acceptable. Trips to Paperchase will become a real treat.
11, When your laptop goes in to be serviced it is necessary to tell the repair person that searching for the best ten ways to kills someone with a toothpick is perfectably acceptable as is how to land a flying horse on the tube 😳.
12, When your other half catches you checking out that good looking bloke it is all in the name of research – honest!
13, It is perfectably acceptable to write about people you know, and even kill them off if they annoy you that much. But remember to change their name, their looks, their personality and character traits and any other identifying marks or details.
15, Same goes for Roget’s Thesaurus.
16, If you don’t enjoy reading, writing and spending long periods with only your cat and coffee maker for company writing may not be for you.
17, Discussing plot ideas with your cat is sensible and not the first, second or indeed the last sign of madness. It only gets freaky when they answer you back.
18, You don’t need to cause physical harm to make someone cry, a pen works just as well with the right words.
19, Never be scared to write – just do it.
20, Good writers know there are no rules when it comes to writing. The best books break all the rules…